A group of men dressed in strange red and white costumes have been sighted around the world carrying out suspicious activities. They have been spotted loitering around shopping malls and handing out gifts to children. We all know what out mothers told us about men like this.

Today it has been reported that this red and white army of men has been seen climbing into peoples houses in the middle of the night carrying large sacks. It is recommended that you ensure your windows and doors are locked tight and you keep a fire raging in the fireplace tonight, unless you want a visit from one of these strange men.

It appears that many of them have strapped cushions around their torsos. Maybe this is a mistaken attempt to protect themselves from attack? If you find yourself in conflict with one of these men, aim for the head. Their beards tend to rip off easily to expose their true identity.